My Friends by Fredrik Backman Review and Book Club Questions

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A thoughtful My Friends review with reflective discussion questions for book clubs. Explore Fredrik Backman’s latest novel about friendship, art, grief, and the moments that carry us through life.

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Some books entertain you. Some books impress you. And then there are the rare ones that quietly sit beside you in the dark and remind you that you’re not alone. My Friends is very much that kind of book.

My Honest Thoughts on My Friends

Fredrik Backman has an uncanny ability to write stories that feel both deeply personal and universally true, and My Friends may be one of his most poignant novels yet. It is funny, raw, painfully honest, and unexpectedly comforting — often all on the same page.

This is classic Backman: witty observations masking profound emotional depth, laugh-out-loud moments sitting shoulder to shoulder with grief, and characters who feel so real they almost follow you out of the book. Under any circumstances, this novel would have wrecked me. Read during a particularly difficult season of my life, it became something else entirely — a balm to my soul.

My Recommendation:

At its core, My Friends is a love letter to creativity, to chosen family, and to the friendships that shape us long after we think we’ve outgrown them. It is also a reminder that authors don’t just write books to entertain us — sometimes they write them to let us know we are not alone.

Read this book. And then hug your person.

“Art is what we leave of ourselves in other people.”
Fredrik Backman, My Friends

Who Should Read My Friends (And Who Might Not)

Just the facts.

Title, author, and publication date: My Friends by Fredrik Backman, May 6, 2025
Genre: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Contemporary fiction
Summary in a Sentence (or two!): Told through the lens of friendship, art, and memory, My Friends explores the lasting impact of one extraordinary summer, the people who shape us when we are young, and how belief — especially from others — can carry us farther than we ever expect.

You might not love it if you:

Prefer fast-paced, plot-heavy novels
Avoid books that linger in grief, trauma, or emotional reflection

Take Note: Points to Consider Before Reading My Friends

Some readers know the type of books they always like, and more importantly, exactly the type of books they don’t enjoy. If you are that reader, these tidbits will be helpful.

Possible triggers: Most novels have a few topics a reader may wish to avoid, and this book is no exception. The possible triggers I noted were grief and bereavement, addiction and overdose, abandonment, domestic abuse (discussed thoughtfully, but directly), and suicide.
Stylistic choices: Backman writes with his signature quirky and humorous metaphors and similes, and there are frequent tonal shifts between humor and heartbreak. The story unfolds thoughtfully and in layers, focusing more on how things feel rather than rushing the reader through the plot.
Sexual Content/Language: Closed door. There are references to kissing, flirting, and sexual abuse, and it is implied that one character is LGBTQ, but there is nothing graphic on the page. There is cursing throughout the book.

This book asks readers to sit with discomfort as much as joy. If you’re open to a story that doesn’t rush healing — and believes laughter and sorrow can coexist — My Friends will likely resonate deeply.

If You Enjoyed These Books, My Friends Might Be Your Next Read

Recommendations for “similar reads” can be tricky because different readers like different books for different reasons. However, you may appreciate My Friends if you enjoyed:

Any books in Fredrik Backman’s Beartown trilogy – The story begins when a small town obsessed with the local junior hockey team is rocked by a shocking act of violence, and the next two books explore the consequences while the residents face difficult questions and determine just what they are willing to sacrifice for their home.
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman – Another story of quirky characters and found family, this novel is distinct from My Friends, yet both tackle more challenging topics with a lighter and even humorous touch.
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro – This dystopian novel tells the story of a group of childhood friends reunited as adults, and explores themes of friendship and loss.
The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot by Marianne Cronin – An extraordinary friendship. A lifetime of stories. In this novel about love, grief, and found family, an unlikely friendship blossoms between 17-year-old Lenni and 83-year-old Margot when they join an arts and crafts class in the hospital they call home. Knowing their days are dwindling, both are determined to leave their mark on the world.
The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston – A book with a different tone, this is a laugh-out-loud yet bittersweet escape into the escapades of the over-80 set, exploring themes of regret, forgiveness, friendship, and found family. A case of mistaken identity lands Frederick in the local nursing home, where he finds friendships that almost eclipse his desperate loneliness.

My Friends: The Story’s (Back) Story

Backman has shared that he began writing My Friends during a period of deep creative doubt, questioning both his confidence as a writer and his place in an increasingly brand-driven publishing industry. Unusually, he wrote the dedication before the novel itself:

“To anyone who is young and wants to create something. Do it.”

He has said that if this were to be his last book, this is the message he wanted to leave behind, not one about success or recognition, but about trying, failing, and creating for yourself.

Much of My Friends is about the value of art in all its forms. Throughout the book, art is described as empathy, coincidence, context, and even nakedness. It is not just what we make — it is “what we leave of ourselves in other people.”

““When you’re 14 years old, a single person can be like wind beneath a butterfly’s wings.”
fredrik backman, my friends

One of the book’s most surprising (and memorable) elements: the fart jokes. Yes, really. Backman has been very open about how intentional they were. “The fart jokes are important because they are silly,” he explains, “and silliness is for children.” The children in this story know it is their last summer as children, and they cling fiercely to laughter, absurdity, and the right to be silly for just a little while longer.

His editors cut many of the fart jokes — and wanted to cut much of the laughter altogether — but on this point, Backman stood firm. To him, laughter is not a distraction from friendship; it is an essential part of it.

This idea appears beautifully at the beginning of chapter four, when Backman reflects on the magic of teenage friendship: its purity, its loyalty, and how lucky you are if you find just one friend who can make you fall off a pier laughing at a fart. It’s funny, yes, but it’s also true.

Backman has also acknowledged that many of the characters were inspired by people he grew up with, including friends he has lost. Writing this novel meant, in his words, “having a lot of days talking to ghosts.” That honesty is felt on every page.

“The world is full of miracles, but none greater than how far a young person can be carried by someone else’s belief in them.”
fredrik backman, my friends

Book Club Discussion Questions for My Friends

The following questions are spoiler-free, but every reader knows the best conversations happen over the details. I’ve got you covered with additional (spoiler-rich!) discussion questions — download them for free here.

The dedication reads: “To anyone who is young and wants to create something. Do it.” How does this idea show up throughout the novel, particularly in relation to art, friendship, and identity?
The book opens with a humorous observation about teenagers and adults. What do you think Backman is really saying about how society views young people?
Laughter, including plenty of silliness, plays an intentional role in this story. Why do you think Backman insists that laughter is essential to friendship?
One recurring idea is that a single person’s belief can radically change a young person’s life. Where did you see this most clearly in the book?
The phrase “That’s a really good day” appears repeatedly. How did your understanding of that phrase change as the story unfolded?
If you could ask Fredrik Backman one question about My Friends, what would it be, and why?

These questions will get the conversation going, but you’ll find even more to explore (for free!) right here.

Spark Deeper Conversations for My Friends

If you’re reading My Friends with a book club — or even just hoping to talk about it with one other thoughtful reader — I’ve put together a free mini book club kit to go along with this post.

Inside, you’ll find a broad-ranging set of discussion questions (including some of the heavier themes we only touched on here), plus a few thoughtful prompts designed to help conversations unfold naturally — without feeling forced or academic.

Consider it a companion for slowing down, listening well, and letting this story linger a little longer.

👉 You can download the free My Friends — A Book Club Conversation Guide here.

Want to Go Deeper?

If you enjoy talking books, I’d love to invite you inside my free community, the Words On Location Book Club. We share recommendations, host online book club discussions of other great reads, and chat about all things bookish. Come join the conversation – it’s a warm, welcoming corner of the internet for readers like you.

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MY FRIENDS by Fredrik Backman: A Reader’s Review and Book Club Questions